Shred is sitting quite alone in the med lab, most of the lights switched off, just a single terminal active in front of her. She is looking at the security logs of what happened, and there is definitely a troubled look in her optics as she does so.. "Slag it all.. How could I have been so stupid? "
Slipstream walks in right on cue as you say that, "Indeed Shred." she states coolly, arms crossing over her cockpit adorned chest. "I'd like an explanation."
Shred freezes as Slipstream enters lowering her head, "Slipstream.. I.. I can't give you an explanation.. How can I explain it to you when I don't understand it myself? " Slamming her fist down beside the terminal, she gets to her feet, "The thing which was in our systems, it must have done more damage than we thought to my systems.. Or I damaged them myself by corrupting my memory files so it couldn't access them.."
Slipstream frowns at Shred, "So you are going to use that thing invading your system as an excuse for attacking Goa and I? Do you really think I'm going to fall for that when that little episode happened a full solar cycle after we chased that thing out of us both?"
Shred shakes her head, "No, slag it. Slipstream, you don't understand. I don't really understand it myself, I panicked, I don't know why.. The things you were saying, I was scared that you would turn me in to Megatron.. Or worse tell Starscream what I had done to him.. "
Slipstream maintains the frown, but uncrosses her arms and allows them to swing down to her sides, she walks toward you. "I think you do know why deep down, and it scares you. To go against your own comrades like that over us knowing you have been playing remote control Starscream is something only you can explain to me. So why don't you try an experiment, make a hypothesis or two of why you think you panicked."
Shred sighs, "I don't know.. As I said.. I was afraid you would turn me in.. Megatron.. well, I might be able to explain the remote for Trypticon.. but how could I ever explain to Starscream my putting remotes in him? Systems that enabled me to take direct control over his systems.. And I was afraid that you would turn on me in fear that I would do the same to you.."
Slipstream notes, "It seems to me you are already on Megatron's to be watched list after what you pulled Shred. Considering that you haven't received a lecture from Megatron nor whining complaining from Starscream, I would think you would realize that I haven't turned you in." she stops in front of you, looking down at you. "Would you have done the same to me?"
Shred shakes her head, "No Slip, I wouldn't." she looks up at the larger femme with open honesty in her features, "Never in a million vorns. And that is what makes it hurt so much that I panicked.. You are my friend.. So is Goa, and I tried to terminate you. Something I should never have even considered.. "
Slipstream crouches down to get more on your level, peering into your optics carefully. "And yet you did. Which means there was something about the situation that was more important to you than my life or Goa's."
Shred 's optics flicker just slightly, "Damn it Slipstream, I was terrified that you would turn on me and try to kill me." she responds with a sudden yell, "And there's no way I could stand up to either of you normally, just look at me!" yes, deep down, memory or not, Shred is still the empty who fought to survive in Dead End.
Slipstream's optics narrow at the yell and shakes her head a bit. "Kill you over what Shred? Do you think that little of me?" she asks.
Shred shakes her head, indeed, her entire body s shaking.. "No.. of course not.. but somehow.. something in me snapped, I felt I had to strike first.. Or I wouldn't survive.. Maybe it was the remotes, the fact of what they could do.. but even now, I find myself looking over my shoulder, expecting to find a shard of metal coming for me.."
Slipstream considers, then says, "Shred, we need to get past this if we are to trust each other ever again. I'm willing to try, but I don't even know how to begin to mend this."
Shred nods, "I know, Slipstream... I think.. The answers must lie in the past though.. It's like my actions were a learned response. " closing her optics, she hmms, "It's almost as if.. yes.. I thought you were going to take something I needed.. I expected you to try and kill me for it.. It didn't matter who you were... to me... at the time.. You were just a threat.. "
Slipstream inclines her head a bit, shifting on her feet as she continues to crouch. Hands resting on her knees now. "That may be the case, Shred, but we need to deal with the here and now." she states, "How do we get past it and relearn to trust each other, that is what matters right now."
Shred hmms, "that is the question, slip. " she looks to her arm, which has in fact had the entire bank of remotes removed.. "Though perhaps this is a start..."
Slipstream glances at the arm, optics studying the fact the remotes are gone. "It's a start." she agrees. "But what it doesn't deal with is your looking over your shoulder mindset."
Shred nods, "I know.. consciously I know that I am safe here, but part of me is constantly expecting to be attacked.. attacked and.. Slag.. Slip.. I think I know what my mindset is like.. It's the mindset of an Empty.. "
Slipstream inclines her head a bit. "Okay, let's say that is the truth. How do you get past that so you aren't always worrying that someone is out to get you?"
Shred hmms, "By proving that they aren't.. or by showing your strength so you know that they are more afraid of you than you are of them... "
Slipstream hms, "Perhaps. Apply that to us now. Am I out to get you? Is Goa?"
Shred shakes her head, No, you aren't... Goa.. Goa tried to protect me from Megatron.. "
Slipstream frowns a hint to that, "He did. Risking not only his life, but mine as well." she shakes her head a bit. "Now apply your statement to other Decepticons. Who has proven themselves trustworthy and who has not."
Shred lowers her head, "Honestly, Slipstream? Nobody else has to me."
Slipstream nods, "Then I suggest you stop hanging out here all the time, get out there and get to know the others all over again. Let them prove their worth."
Shred hmms, "You may be right, Slipstream.. I do need to get out more, to see more of the other Decepticons.. "
Slipstream rises to her full height. "Glad we agree on that Shred."
Shred offers her hand to Slipstream, "For what it is worth, Slipstream, I am truly sorry for what I did.. You and Goa are my friends. You did not deserve that.. But now we know what I was thinking like.. That begs the question, why did my mind slip into those thought patterns at all?"
Slipstream accepts the hand, gripping it firmly. "Survival mode in Empties are pretty high are they not?"
Shred nods, "Extremely high. It's the only thing that keeps them functioning. "
You say, "Then if you were an Empty, that is why your mind slipped in that direction."
Shred nods, "Yes, that must be it.. and considering the general consensus about empties, I would not have wanted it known.. whence my deletion of the files!"
Slipstream hms, "Perhaps so. Then there's the remotes themselves that could have been used against us if that thing took over."
Shred nods, "That's all too true.. "
You say, "Well then sounds like we solved a portion of the mystery behind how you reacted as you did as well as the file deletion issue."
Shred nods, "Yes, it does, doesn't it?"
Slipstream inclines her head. "So what do you do with that information?"
Shred hmms, "I remember it, and I use it to prevent a repeat of the incident.,"
Slipstream smiles a hint, "Good." she glances over at the console you were looking at, "So what were you viewing?"
Shred shows what she was viewing, the entire incident in the med lab. "I was trying to work out what was going through my mind at the time.. "
Slipstream nods, "Did you come to any conclusions before our little chat?"
Shred frowns, "I was struggling. "
Slipstream hms, "But now it seems clearer, yes?"
Shred nods, "Much, thank you slipstream."
Slipstream smiles, "You are welcome, Shred."